Top 10 funny football moments!

August 20th, 2009

I was discussing funny football moments the other day and decided just for a laugh to capture my thoughts in writing and compile a blog, counting down the funniest moments that I remember.  So here goes!…

In at number 10…

gazzaSource

…Ever the cheeky chappy, Gazza got booked by the ref whilst he was playing for Glasgow Rangers for pretending to show a yellow card to him after the ref had dropped the card on the floor.  It was very harsh by the ref, who obviously didn’t have a sense of humour! After all Gazza was only joking and was actually doing him a favour by returning the card!  Watch the incident here.

Number 9…

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…Serial prankster Karl Power gets in on the act again.  This time pictured alongside the Manchester United team prior to the Champions League Quarter Final clash in Munich against Bayern in 2001, despite not being part of the team whatsoever!  He evaded security by pretending to be with a TV crew, then casually strolled out onto the pitch and stood next to Andy Cole in order to be in shot for the photos before he made his way into the stand to watch the game… It wasn’t until after the game when the photographers were looking through the night’s photos, that they realised they didn’t recognise one of the players!!!

Number 8…

di_canio_alcock

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…Paulo Di Canio gets sent off by ref Paul Alcock whilst playing for Sheffield Wednesday against Arsenal, but instead of accepting it gets angry and pushes poor Alcock to the floor.  He tries to stay on his feet, but stumbles over comically!  Now you shouldn’t laugh and condone such an incident, but I challenge you not to when you view the video here!

Number 7…

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…Despite his extraordinary footballing abilities, Rivaldo made a show of himself in the 2002 World Cup in the Far East for all the wrong reasons.  Rivaldo was waiting for the ball in order to be able to take a corner, when the Turkish player Hakan Unsal kicked the ball towards him.  Instead of controlling or catching the ball, he let it hit him on the thigh and then reacted by remarkably going down clutching his face.  His actions got Unsal sent off, but he also earned himself a large fine after officials later reviewed the incident and decided that his actions were uncalled for too.  Rivaldo was a great player, but his actions here were shocking to say the least, although extremely funny to see at the same time.  View the incident here.

Number 6…

diana_ross

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…It was during the opening of USA ‘94 that Diana Ross made her indelible, comical mark on the game we love so much.  She was singing during the ceremony and at the end of her performance had the simplest of tasks of kicking a ball into a net from all of six yards out.  The keeper was to dive out of the way, allowing Ross to ripple the net easily, which would in turn cause the goal to break into two halves as part of the act.  Sorted!…  Well that was the plan, but it didn’t quite work out like that… Step forward Diana Ross; singer, superstar, ’soccer’ extraordinaire!!!  View what happened here.

Number 5…

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…I give you Ronnie Rosenthal; the creator of the original missed sitter!!!  Quite simply a work of footballing artistry!  View it in all of its glory here.

Number 4…

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…David Dunn tries to go all ‘Copacabana’ on us.  Unfortunately for David… he failed. Miserably.  In a Birmingham Derby of all places.  Just what must have he been thinking?!!  Watch him end up on his backside here.

Number 3…

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…We’re moving towards the business end of proceedings now as we enter into the top 3.  Steven Taylor provides the entertainment here.  He saves the ball on the line with his hand (even though he’s a defender!), but then goes down like he’s been shot in order to make the ref think he’s been struck legitimately by the ball on the body.  The ref’s having none of it and sends him off!  Watch it here.

Number 2…

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…My favourite funny own goal of all time.  Scored by Bury’s Chris Brass against Darlington.  Genius!  See it here.

*Drum roll please!*

As the countdown draws to an end…

I present to you my all time number 1 funny football moment.

A worthy winner I’m sure you’ll agree!

(Hope you like it!!!)

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…I give to you Ilunga Mwepu, comic mastermind!  Enhanced by the fine workings of Skinner and Baddiel’s legendary ‘Fantasy Football’ programme…  Enjoy it in all of its glory here!

By Ben Charlton

Trying to find cheaper flight alternatives for high demand sporting events…

January 30th, 2009

So there’s a major sporting event you want to attend overseas, but although you want to be there and you can get tickets, the cost of the flights may stop you going altogether - so what do you do?  Well there may be an alternative to look at that worked for me.  In my case it was trying to get to the UEFA cup final, to watch Middlesbrough play in Eindhoven against Sevilla.  Cue wise cracks about you should have stayed at home!  Anyway, the flights were extortionate to fly to the area directly, so we looked at trying to get over to Holland via Dublin.  Ryanair had a cheap flight to Dublin from our local airport (Durham Tees Valley or Teesside as we like to know it as!), then it was just a case of waiting for our connection to Eindhoven, which was slightly more hassle but saved us a packet.  We got the return flights for about £100 each in the end - the direct flights that still had availability on them were selling for three and four times that amount.  It was also quite nice popping into Dublin for a couple of drinks in Temple Bar for a couple of hours - the locals thought we were slightly mad I think though when we told them why we were there!

Struggling to find cheap ways of getting to high demand overseas sporting events?...

Struggling to find cheap ways of getting to see high demand overseas sporting events?...

So if, for example, Manchester United got to the Champions League final in Rome this season, the way to find cheaper flights could be to find an airport that both Manchester and Rome have mutually in common (not in the UK).  A quick glance on Ryanair’s website indicates the first mutual airport would be Barcelona Girona in Spain.  So if the flights tied in nicely you could fly from Manchester to Barcelona and then from Barcelona to Rome.  Search for this by selecting the ‘departing from’ option as Manchester first and note where they fly to from Manchester and then change it to Rome and note where they fly from Rome.  Then look out for any routes they share and see which routes work out the easiest, both in terms of travel time and connection time.  It needs to be outside the UK though to avoid the demand - Spanish people won’t be booking up to see the final if its between Manchester United and Chelsea again (Although this might be a bad example as of course Man U fans aren’t from Manchester are they?!!).  However, if Barcelona got to the final then you would need to find an alternative airport.  Sounds like simple stuff but you would be surprised at how many people that don’t look into this sort of thing.

By Ben Charlton.

Our UEFA Cup adventures… Trip 2 - Stuttgart.

January 29th, 2009

So having bowed out in the last 16 of the UEFA Cup in the 2004/5 season, attention switched back to our league form which was hoped would propel us back into next season’s competiton.  Our form was fairly consistent towards the back end of the season as key players returned, although there was a big late season charge from Manchester City which threatened our chances of finishing in the all important seventh place in the league, which would enable us to qualify for the following year’s competition.  Intriguingly, we had to play Manchester City away on the last day of the season - it would become a famous showdown, as after a nervy win over Spurs in our final home game of the season (Spurs were until that point still challenging us themselves) it had become a straight fight between us and City.  A draw would be enough to secure qualification for us - if we lost then City would qualify.  The first half was like a dream - Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink scored with an absolute piledriving 30 yard free kick that hit the underside of the crossbar midway through the half and so we went into the break 1-0 up.  However, City equalised immediately after the break through Kiki Musampa and it was then set up for a tense finale!  In injury time, as City heaped on the pressure, the referee gave them a soft penalty and it was up to Robbie Fowler to step up and fire City into Europe.  However, Mark Schwarzer famously guessed the right way and made a superb save - “GET IN YER BIG AUSSIE!!!” was the cry from the radio commentry… A sentiment echoed by Boro fans everywhere!  The rest was history and it would again be Boro’s turn to have a crack at the UEFA cup!

The main sqaure in Stuttgart...

The main sqaure in Stuttgart...

The competition started in the first round against FC Xanthi of Greece, who Emerson now played for (once one of Boro’s most high profile players) - But we brushed them aside over two legs, winning 2-0 at home, followed by a 0-0 draw away in Greece.  We then topped a group, which on paper looked considerably easier than the previous year’s group, and so it proved - we beat Grasshoppers of Zurich 1-0 away, then overcame Dnipro of the Ukraine 3-0 at home, before drawing 0-0 away with AZ Alkmaar of Holland and rounding off the group with a 2-0 home victory against Litex Lovech of Bulgaria.  However that was the easy part, in the last 32 we were drawn against VfB Stuttgart, one of Germany’s top clubs, and if we made it past them we would more than likely face AS Roma of Italy, who need no introduction!!!  The UEFA Cup  had suddenly got tough!  Whats more was our form was terrible leading up to the Stuttgart tie, although the seeds of recovery were just starting to show through as we travelled to Germany.  We booked some cheap flights from London Stansted and drove down through the night in order to catch the flight at 7 a.m.  Once we were at the airport the holiday spirit reigned over us and we enjoyed an early morning vodka and coke!  Only one mind as we had a hire car to collect at the other end!!!  We flight passed without a hitch and we touched down in Karlsruhe-Baden airport which was an hour’s drive away from Stuttgart.  We had a lovely black top of the range BMW 1 series to shuttle us around in, which was good although it was probably a bit like trying to crack a nut with a sledge hammer, because we only used it for a sum total of a bout 2 hours 30 minutes on the whole trip!  It was fun switching the Sat-Nav to different languages though and the 3 stage heated seats were mega!!!

Rochemback tangles with a Stuttgart player

Rochemback tangles with a Stuttgart player

Anyway, I digress!  We arrived at the hotel, dumped our bags and headed into the city centre on the tram, which was about a mile away.  There was a good atmosphere in the city and we had a good afternoon wandering around - The city was gearing up to be one of the hosts in the upcoming World Cup and there were loads of footballs hanging from all the trees!  The only problem was there was only one bar we knew about that was open to Boro fans in the whole city… But what a bar it was!  It was called Sophie’s bar and it didn’t stop bouncing the whole time we were there!!!  Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of been wiped out by a 24 hour sickness bug that evening and spent virtually the whole night and all of the next day tucked up in bed at the hotel!  I was gutted because the lads were having an amazing time out and about.  It was touch and go whether I’d make the game or not, I really was that bad despite the lads taking the mick saying I was faking it!!!  However, I was determined to make the game and I’m so glad I went.  In spite of the driving February rain we made our way to the game and it was a magical experience.  The stadium was awesome and although there was a running track on the outside of the pitch, the atmosphere was still good.  We went 1-0 up in the first half through Hasselbaink and consolodated our lead straight after the break with another goal, this time by Stuart Parnaby following a cracking run from George Boateng down the wing.  The dangerous Daniel Ljuboja scored a free kick before the end though, leaving the second leg still in the balance.

Mendieta challenges for the ball back at the Riverside

Mendieta challenges for the ball back at the Riverside

However that didn’t quell the celebrations as we had managed to win away unexpectedly in Germany against a top side!  By this point I was definitely feeling brighter and we headed back to Sophie’s bar for a party!  I was feeling pretty fresh in the morning, but the other lads were struggling because they’d had far more to drink than me, so it was a fairly rough trip back home.  In the second leg at home, Stuttgart scored early on through Christian Tiffert, but we held on really well and made some cracking blocks - One of Boateng’s in particular was immense!  The final whistle blew and we were through - it was the greatest defeat I had witnessed (to that point) as a Boro fan!  We had set up a last 16 tie against Roma who as expected knocked Club Brugge out of the competition!  In the Pacific bar after the game (which had become our post European night haunt!), my mate James and I were in shock - we just kept saying that we couldn’t believe we’d knocked Stuttgart out and were about to face Roma… It was like a dream!!!

By Ben Charlton.

Our UEFA Cup adventures… Trip 1 - Villarreal.

January 28th, 2009

Here we were in the UEFA cup. Middlesbrough FC! We had been in dreamland since winning the Carling cup in the February of 2004 and after knocking Banik Ostrava of the Czech Republic out in the first round, we’d been thrown in at the deep end in the group stage. We were tied in a group of 5 (top 3 only to qualify) with Italian giants Lazio, Partizan Belgrade (one of the original crack European sides) of Serbia, Villarreal an up and coming strong side from Spain as well as Greek minnows Egaleo. After defeating Egaleo 1-0 away and disposing of Lazio 2-0 in an epic home match, it was the turn of Villarreal and fulfilling a personal dream of watching my beloved Boro in Europe for the first time.

The beach in Benidorm...

The beach in Benidorm...

Three of us (my friends Scott and Paul as well as myself) got flights from Birmingham to Alicante and hired a car with the plan being to stay in Benidorm for two nights and make a little holiday out of it, and then drive up for the game in the middle of the trip which would be about two hours away. Despite it being late November, the weather was still nice and warm and you could comfortably walk around in your t-shirt. We had a nice paella dish on the seafront, before going back to the hotel and getting ready for a night out. We set off walking into Benidorm’s town, stopping off for a drink at a place that was only charging a Euro for a pint of Amstel! We went to Cafe de Benidorm, where there was a comedian on, before hitting some of the clubs, many of which were giving away free shots. We got some food in the early hours, bumping into some fellow Boro fans in doing so, before retiring to bed… A good night was had and we were all really looking forward to the game!

The next day we went and had a few games of pool at the Harley-Davidson bar on the seafront and grabbed a bite to eat before heading up for the game which kicked off mid-evening. Villarreal is located near to Castellon not far from Valencia and we arrived in good time and got parked up. We walked into the square near the ground, which was heaving with fellow Boro fans and joined in as the atmosphere was building nicely! It was pretty emotional stuff seeing all these scenes - something I’d dreamed about seeing for many years - celebrating my team on foreign shores surrounded by fellow Boro fans!… This was it - We were about to watch Middlesbrough FC play in Europe! I think the locals were somewhat puzzled as they watched on as the fountains got filled with washing up liquid! We went to our gate in good time wearing our sombrero’s we’d got especially for the game. But there was mayhem outside, as everyone got penned in by barriers. A crush was developing, and I ended up getting pushed over the top of a barrier with a woman. The barrier went flying too but luckily nobody got injured. There seemed to be no reason for the hold up either which was annoying to say the least. After I dusted myself off and went through the turnstile, we were all body searched which delayed us still further and we missed the start of the game. The seating was unorganised (no proper seat numbering) and the viewing was bad. It felt like a free-for-all and eventually as more and more fans streamed in there was a realisation that there were too many fans in the area. Fortunately, the stewards saw sense and opened up a big steel gate divide and allowed us into another area which was adjacent behind the goal which was much better.

We weren’t happy that McClaren had left out Viduka and Hasselbaink our most potent attacking forces and instead played Nemeth and Job, as well as Parlour being rested for Doriva, but we started off okay. Juan Roman Riquelme was pulling the strings for Villarreal in midfield like a magician though and the breakthrough was made before half time when he fed Guayre who slotted home. El Madrigal erupted in Spanish cheer as the home faithful celebrated. Changes were made after half time and we had a Riggott ‘goal’ disallowed for offside which was quite debatable as we pushed for an equaliser. Villarreal killed the game off though with about 15 minutes of play left. Riquelme was again the orchestrator as he played a 1-2 with Javi Venta, who neatly slot home. And that was that - the game had ended disappointingly and we were left feeling deflated. But still it was a great experience and we were beaten by an impressive side who deserved their victory.

Zenden battles for the ball in our clash against Villarreal...

Zenden battles for the ball in our clash against Villarreal...

A funny thing happened at breakfast the next morning before left for the airport. Already tight on time, we went down to the hotel restaurant only to find that they’d stopped serving. We were puzzled at first, but then quickly realised that we were mistakenly on English time and not Spanish time which is 1 hour ahead. We suddenly panicked that we were going to miss our flight, so we dashed up to our room like something from a Benny Hill sketch to collect our bags. As we went through the door Paul slipped and fell full force on his hip!!! We didn’t have time to worry about it though, so we grabbed our bits and raced to the car. We made the flight by the skin of our teeth! Boro beat Partizan Belgrade convincingly 3-0 in the remaining group fixture and in doing so ended up topping the group. We were mega chuffed as it was such a hard group! We ended up bowing out of the competition in the last 16, to eventual losing finalists Sporting Lisbon, a dignified effort for our first ever attempt and we could leave with our heads held high. After all, the best was still to come the following season!

By Ben Charlton.

Le Mans 2008

January 27th, 2009

In June 2008, three of us headed over on an adventure to see ‘Les 24 heures du Mans’, a world famous 24 hour car race in France - a pilgrimage i’ve made on a fairly frequent basis since the age of 8 in 1990, when the Jaguars were victorious.  My two friends Paul and Ste (who are brothers) had never been before, but I insisted that they would have a great little holiday, so they decided that they’d book up with me.  Everything all went to plan on the drive down (including the ferry crossing), even the fickle French weather was baking - everything was almost going too well!  The first headache upon arriving in the dark was that the camp site (bleu) that my Dad and I used in 2003 (when I was last there) was full upon arrival which was a problem as last time we just turned up.  After being led on a bit of a wild goose chase, we eventually met some particularly helpful stewards who helped us find an annex overflow site which turned out to be just fine (even though we had to pitch a tent in the dark!)… so my advise would be book the campsite of your choice well in advance, although your race tickets can always be bought on the door.  More concerning to us was that we’d planned on having a good drink that night, but had passed up the chance to stop at a few of the supermarkets we had seen earlier on in order to get a good crack on with the driving, yet upon arrival in Le Mans the supermarkets were shut!  Nightmare!!!  So the night ended up as a bit of a damp squib.  But we decided that we’d make the most of the following day!

Audi racing down through the esses from the famous Dunlop bridge...

Audi racing down through the esses from the famous Dunlop bridge...

We woke up and headed to the supermarket in search of the booze as well as gas for our mini stove and a few other bits and bobs.  It turned out well and got everything we needed and on the return back to the site, we cooked a cracking brekkie that went down a treat, along with a nice cool drink or 3!  Total bliss!  The weather was even hotter than the day before and reckon we could have probably done without the gas for the stove as the sun would have cooked the food by itself!!!  Unfortunately, we missed the classic race which preceeded the main race, which had many cars I’d watched in years gone past when I was growing up (makes me feel old saying that although i’m only 26!) so that was a bit of a shame.  We arrived just in time for the main race however, and after buying our tickets we headed track side, to my favourite spot on the esses to watch the cars whizz by for the first time - I told Paul and Ste to brace themselves for the din that the Chevrolets made!  I was disappointed however that the event organisers had decided to get rid of the trees and build a grandstand right on the best spot (obviously milking the money), leaving ordinary race-goers like myself in the cold (even though technically it was over 30° C!).  They had compensated somewhat however by building a new banked area over the other side of the track which had good access also.  The only thing was that it wasn’t sheltered, which left you open to the full range of elements which Le Mans is famed for!  The fact that everytime I go they seem to manage to restrict the fans view still further, leaves me questioning whether I want to return again.  As first timers though, Paul and Ste thought it was brilliant, so i’m glad it didn’t detract from their enjoyment - we even saw a crash right in front of us!  But for me it is an annoyance having more and more of a restricted view each time I go, bearing in mind i’ve gone six times over the last 18 years.

Winner's podium!!!

Winner's podium!!!

Afterwards, we wandered round the stalls on the in-field and soaked up some of the atmosphere and had a bite to eat before heading back to the campsite for a well-needed drink.  The mission I set for the night ahead was to try and sneak track side on the Mulsanne straight (known locally as ‘les hunaudieres’) which due to the high speeds is an area of extremely limited access.  I’d tried and failed twice before, but this time I was really determined to make it.  My dad has made it there before and has some amazing photographs to prove it - apparently he ended up at the front of somebody’s garden which was track side!  There is also suppose to be a restaurant come bar (chinese possibly?) that has track side viewing, however I think its a myth as I’ve never seen the elusive place!!!  Anyway, we set out (inebriated from the alcohol!) in the late part of the evening on what turned out to be an unsuccessful 10 mile treck around the biggest section of track in search of prime viewing.  We ended up seeing none of the race, but enjoyed some brilliant craic all the same, as we trampled through numerous bushes in the dead of the night!  We returned back to camp long after sunrise to get some sleep, just as everyone else was walking in the opposite direction to the track!  We were weary and it was raining, but we had a funny night all the same!  Even though we were tired, we couldn’t get much sleep at first, because of the buzz of the night before and because one of us would keep imitating the ‘P-P-P-PEOWNNN!’ sound of the cars passing by just as one of us was dozing off!  It was funny… the first 20 times!!!  We got up a few hours later at lunch time, just in time for the last stint of the race which was eventually won by the Audi team of Tom Kristensen (who had personally now won the race a record 8 times) just ahead of Jacques Villeneuve’s Peugeot team.  We joined in the celebrations on the track once the race had finished before heading back to the car and back home.  Although the race maybe isn’t the same spectacle as it once was, it is still special and we had a thoroughly good weekend away…

By Ben Charlton.

2009 Sporting Preview…

January 26th, 2009

So which sporting event do you want to travel to in 2009?…  2008 was an eventful year in the sporting world - highlights included the hugely successful Olympics and Paralympics (especially for team GB) in Beijing, Lewis Hamilton’s maiden World Championship victory and Manchester United’s Premiership/Champions League double. United needed to overcome Chelsea on both fronts and it went down to the wire, especially in the Champions league where there was the climax of the ‘Russian Roulette’ penalty shoot-out in the Moscow rain…

2009 has a lot to live up to after an incredible 2008...

2009 has a lot to live up to after an incredible 2008...

2009 has a tough act to follow, but it promises to deliver many highlights of its own. Here are a selection of the most anticipated events on the calender that you can plan your holidays around: - The World Athletics Championships take place in Berlin in August (15-23) - A spectacle that is always special. This year it should be no different, especially on the back of the exciting olympics where Usain Bolt ripped up the track in the sprints. In football, the Champions League culminates in a final in Rome on the 27th of May, whilst the UEFA Cup final takes place in Istanbul a week prior on the 20th of May. Will there by any British interest in the final? You would have to presume so. In Rugby Union, the British Lions tour South Africa from the 30th of May to the 4th of July. Can they topple the might of the World Cup winners? It is eagerly awaited to see if they can do it.

2009 has the promise and potential to be an outstanding year...

2009 has the promise and potential to be an outstanding year...

The popular IPL returns to cricket from the 10th of April to the 29th of May, whilst the 20/20 World Cup takes place between the 5th and the 21st of June in England. The Australians visit these shores too for the Ashes series from the 8th of July to the 24th of August. Who will win the battle? Let’s hope England have similar success to last time the Aussies came over! Whilst we are on a UK theme, can Andy Murray win at Wimbledon for the first time? This could be his year. The action kicks off on the 22nd of June and finishes on the 5th of July. He is currently battling it out at the Australian Open and has still got the French Open in Paris and the US Open at Flushing Meadows later in the year to compete for. The Formula One Championships are going to be a very exciting close run thing this year with the new aerodynamic rules. Can Lewis Hamilton hold onto his crown? My outside tip is for Sebastien Vettel to win, who is currently a 33/1 shot!!! They seem long odds for such a talent, so get your bet on whilst you can! The season starts in Melbourne on the 29th of March and finishes in Abu Dhabi on the 1st of November. One of the biggest events of the year could be the on/off fight between Ricky Hatton and Manny Pacquiao, due to take place on the 2nd of May in Las Vegas. If it goes ahead, it should be fantastic - Pacquiao is described by many as the best ‘pound for pound’ boxer in the world.  So there we have it… A fantastic sporting year awaits.  I, for one, can’t wait to see the events unfold in front of my eyes.

By Ben Charlton.